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In Hillbilly Gothic: A Memoir of Madness and Motherhood,Adrienne Martini takes us down the dark path of postpartum psychosis and through to the other side. This is not exactly a cheerful place to go, and it took me a little bit to warm to Martini and her story. But Martini is a smart and likeable woman with a wicked sense of humor, even as we meet her bawling her eyes out as she’s driving herself to the mental hospital. Martini had started out with the best of intentions, quitting her meds when she got pregnant, hiring a doula, and buying a supply of nursing bras. But the birth is bloody and traumatic, her milk doesn’t come in, and she finds herself unable to sleep or to stop crying. Interwoven through the story of her own nightmare experience is the secret family history that she dug up afterwards in a quest for understanding. It takes a lot of courage to be this honest in the face of family disapproval and society’s discomfort with craziness. I left this book with a deep respect for Martini, and the many mothers who keep on going even when their heads are telling them that they’ve already failed.

The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland There are millions of parenting books out there, and I have recommended many of them here. This book is different from many of them in that it is grounded in modern neuroscience rather than opinion. It might sound cold, but brain scans actually point towards cuddlier parenting than conventional wisdom permits. The frequent reference to the science of brains, complete with brain scans and combined with a beautifully picture-heavy DK layout make this a book ideal for drawing in dads who might not go for the standard parenting book. Sunderland talks about the various layers of the brain and when they mature – great for knowing when you can expect your child to resist a tantrum, but, since it’s firmly grounded in evolutionary theory, make it less appropriate for conservative religious types. I found the views on tantrums especially illuminating. Sunderland identifies two separate types of tantrums: the distress tantrum, caused by overwhelmingly powerful feelings that the child can’t control; and the Little Nero tantrum, deliberately thrown to try to manipulate the parent (or other adult). The distress tantrum requires sensitive handling, and help from the parent to learn how to regulate strong emotions. A time out alone in the room, Sunderland says, is counterproductive in this situation. On the other hand, ignoring a Little Nero tantrum can be helpful. Sunderland’s discussions on the chemical foundations of happiness and love were quite useful, though I had some quibbles with her thoughts on discipline, which seemed somewhat less research based and more conventional wisdom than the rest of the book. Though it covers techniques – for sleep and behavior, for instance – this is more overall theory than parenting nitty-gritty. Still, overall, I’d recommend this book both for reading and for giving to new parents.