alibrarymama

A little while back I sensed myself on the verge of disapproval of a friend who, having timed her baby nicely around the academic year, is putting her almost 6-month-old in full-time daycare. What’s up with that, I wondered? Both parents have full-time jobs; of course the baby will be going into daycare full time. I think the real issue is my underlying fear that a) I might have to go to work full-time and b) that the house would fall apart and my baby would start considering daycare more home than home. Never mind all the people, including my husband, who work full-time and still manage to have close, loving relationships with their children. Just a slight neuroses, here… moving right along… this book caught my eye as I was walking through the stacks and I took it home and on vacation and read it all the way through. This is another one I’m jumping up and down about – but I did look at several recently that were so bad I didn’t even take them home.

The Working Mother’s Guide to Life by Linda Mason Mason, the founder of Bright Horizons in the workplace daycare centers and a working mother, has put together a very impressive collection of useful information and advice for the working mother. Information is based on interviews with mothers, covering an impressive range of demographics – not just income and race but straight and queer, single and partnered, natural and adopted children. She begins with classifying mothering styles – the Strategic Planner, the Camp Counselor, the Passionate Spirit and the Earth Mama. (Much as I would like to be an Earth Mama, I had to recognize myself as a Strategic Planner.) Next she discusses the three pillars of a successful working mother – a partner in parenting, a supportive employer, and excellent childcare. Each of these has a full chapter devoted to it. In the supportive employer chapter, for example, after discussing signs of the supportive and unsupportive employer, she also gives details on negotiating for a flexible work schedule, what to look for if you are switching jobs, and research to back family friendly policies that you can present to your employer if you need to make a case. Part three is devoted to the details of everyday life and how to make them easier, from maternity leave and returning to work, to managing work itself, creating a strong family culture, being actively involved in your child’s education, and managing the chores at home. There is a chapter each devoted to morning and evening routines – these times that are so rushed, yet are often the only time working parents have with their children through the week. She emphasizes both the importance of routine activities as opportunities for interaction, and offers practical tips. Throughout, Mason is honest about the practical and emotional ups and downs of being a working mother. If you’re in the working mother boat, this is a manual you really want to have along for the ride.