Lord of the (Teething) Rings – Part II

Posted on September 25, 2004 by Katy K.

In a continuation of parenting titles, I found two more crying/sleep books, one random leftie baby book, and one Baby Tome. Yeah, I should probably find a couple more Baby Tomes with different approaches, but I’m not sure how many 700 page books I’ll make it through. As always, I’m open to suggestions of titles you’ve read or want me to try first.

Calming Your Fussy Baby: the Brazleton Way by T. Berry Brazleton My research into crying/sleep books continues with this title. Dr. Brazleton is a well-known pediatrician (I discover); he’s best known for his “touchpoints” or stages of baby development. He seems to me to be fairly middle-of-the-road in his parenting philosophy. This book, then, covers crying by age – why a baby might cry at different stages, and appropriate responses at each. Unlike Dr. Karp, he doesn’t assume a single solution in each case, but presents a variety of options. Again, it’s hard to say without trying, but his approach seems geared towards first understanding your baby, then figuring out a solution.

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam Yes, this is a third “how to get your baby to stop crying” title. I think I mentioned earlier that it’s a little hard to guess at an author’s parenting philosophy from the back cover of the book, so I was excited to find this book – a really, really conservative approach to baby care. amnachaidh, on hearing me talk about it, described this as the Ann Coulter of baby care, and it’s a pretty good metaphor. If you agree with the conservative philosophy to begin with – that you must put your baby on a schedule from birth and train him to sleep in his own room right from the beginning by letting him cry until he stops – then the advice in this book is straightforward. You can either skip over or enjoy the vitriolic attacks against attachment parenting, as you prefer. If you are liberal in your parenting philosophy to begin with, you will find this book highly disturbing. And if you are not really sure where you are, I would not recommend reading this book. While the advice on how to put your baby on schedule is straightforward enough, and may in fact be the perfect solution for your family, the science that he cites to support his views is shaky at best. As I’m currently reading Dr. Sears on attachment parenting, I can say with some certainty that the attachment parenting philosophy that he uses as an example of bad parenting throughout the book is a straw man, more extreme than AP doctors would recommend. As an example of bad science, at one point he says that letting your baby cry it out will make her smarter, and has an endnote to a study. The study that he cites was one that showed that four and five year olds who could wait 15 minutes to get two marshmallows rather than getting one right away did better on their SATs than the ones who ate their marshmallow right away. I don’t think that this proves that waiting makes kids smarter, and I certainly don’t see how a study performed on children old enough to talk and reason could prove anything about caring for a baby. He says throughout that doing anything differently than what he says will resulting in spoiling your baby – which I object to on the grounds that different things work for different babies; and throughout that one shouldn’t trust one’s emotions or instincts for baby care, or any decision-making, despite research on the subject to the contrary. This book is really popular, but I’d still say that Dr. Spock will give you advice on putting your baby on a schedule, with better science and less guilt.

Mothers & Others for a Livable Planet guide to natural baby care : nontoxic and environmentally friendly ways to take care of your new child by Mindy Pennybacker In search of more liberal baby books, I found this one. It’s one to read only if you have lots of money or are willing to ignore lots of warnings. Do you really want to know what the chemicals in paint, carpets and plastic toys can do to your child? Especially when the alternatives appear to cost at least twice as much, and often even more? (The easy way out: air out things like plastics and paint that smell when new for a couple of weeks to disperse the nasty VOCs. Use natural fibers whenever possible, and wash new clothes several times before putting them on baby.) There is some more practical advice in the later chapters on food, and a nice chapter on raising a nature-loving child. Otherwise, sadly, you have to be really, really committed to a low-chemical lifestyle for this book to have practical information for you.

The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears This is the first baby tome that I’ve reviewed, recommended to me by at least four different sources. It is indeed a wonderful book. Dr. Sears is an advocate of attachment parenting. For the uninitiated, this means he believes that the first duty of parents is to teach their children that they will always be there to take care of them. To this end, small babies should be picked up when they cry, carried a lot (whether or not they are crying) and so forth. No, he does not say that co-sleeping is the only right way to do things, and yes, he does include instruction on how to encourage your baby to sleep more at night without using the cry-it-out technique, as well as how to wean your baby out of your bed should you decide to sleep with your baby for a while but not want it to be permanent. For those of a more liberal persuasion to start with, he also includes discussions of vaccines and controversies surrounding them, though he is in general in favor of them. But this is just a small look at places where his book gives a unique view, particularly touching on issues brought up in the other books I’ve reviewed or that have come up in discussion. Overall, this book is aiming to be the only baby book you’ll ever really need. It covers pregnancy and childbirth briefly, and then focuses on baby’s major needs: eating, sleeping, development, health and comfort. Although all of the information looks like it would be invaluable to have on hand, I was very impressed with the health section. Split up by illness (with a separate first aid section), it covers what the symptoms are, treatment options, when to worry, call the doctor, and what to tell him or her. The Sears are both medical professionals as well as parents of eight children, and I found their advice knowledgeable and reassuring. Like Dr. Spock, they stress knowing yourself and your baby and finding solutions that work for you. If you want a general baby book with a liberal-ish bent, this is for you – either as a sole resource for the die-hard AP types, or as a liberal point of view to balance another book with a more conservative approach.

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Lord of the (Teething) Rings – Part I

Posted on September 8, 2004 by Katy K.

And now, by popular request, some parenting titles. If I were really, really coordinated, I would have gotten three books representing different takes on the same topic. In fact, I kinda tried, but it’s a little hard working with library books, as other people besides me want to read them. Anyway, here we have book by a Classic Expert, one very popular book, and one geared towards fathers.

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp This book seems to have achieved a loyal following in the past couple of years, and I seem to be one of the last people on my board to read it. Karp claims to have discovered the cure for colic, which any parent can use by carefully following his instructions. The Cuddle Cure involves following the 5 S’s: Swaddle, Side or Stomach, Shhh, Swing and Suck. You would need to read a little more to make it work, of course. I can’t really tell how well it would work, not having a screaming baby on hand to test it with, though the testimonials throughout the book are encouraging. With a chapter devoted to the thesis, one for each S, and another of synthesis, I found the book a little on the repetitive side – maybe designed for sleep-deprived parents? In any case, the ideas seem good, and the bigger your arsenal of baby-calming techniques, the happier you and baby are likely to be.

Dr. Spock’s the First Two Years by Dr. Benjamin Spock Dr. Spock is the granddaddy of child rearing advice doctors, as you all should know already. I thought I’d read some of his advice to get a traditional/conservative view on the whole thing. This book is a collection of magazine columns from the late 80s and 90s answering common questions, not really a month-by-month or stage-by-stage guide. But, I was surprised and fascinated – surprised, because Dr. Spock is not as conservative as I would have guessed him to be. He’s strongly in favor of breastfeeding (on demand through the first several months), opposed to circumcision, and, most radical, advocates for a vegan diet. (He also talks about the benefits of bedsharing, though it’s clearly not something he’d be comfortable doing himself.) On the Cry It Out vs. Attachment Parenting debate, for those who are curious, he says that before about 6 months (I think) a baby is too young to be manipulative, and therefore should be picked up when crying. Past that, leaving the baby alone may be helpful in some cases. Throughout, his mantra is “Trust yourself – you know more than you think you do.” What made his book especially fascinating is his historical perspective – he started practicing in 1944. Most parenting books will tell you, for example, that you don’t need to try to put your baby on a feeding schedule – so rigid, so unhelpful for both you and baby. Dr. Spock explains both why schedules were considered so important, and what caused the shifts in opinion over the years. This is a slim little book; most of the actual advice you could probably find in other places. But the advice is sound, and the perspective just cool.

The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year by Armin Brott The discerning reader will note that this is the follow-up book to The Expectant Father, which I reviewed a while back. My husband and I both enjoyed these books for their solid advice coming from the father’s perspective. This book is split up with one chapter per month. It outlines what milestones are reached in each month (divided up into different areas past the first couple, where development is nearly all physical.) It talks about emotional and social issues that may come up for the dad. And, it has really good advice on what to do with the baby, from the very beginning where being involved means not giving up the baby as soon as she starts crying, to good games for each age child. I was especially excited that he talked about reading to the baby in every chapter. I’ve recently run into one father-to-be who didn’t like having his emotions addressed, as it felt to him like he was being told what to feel, so I guess nothing works for everyone. But amnachaidh liked having his point of view addressed. Most parenting books that I’ve read take it for granted that the mother is the one reading the book, and make only the occasional side comment for fathers. From that point of view, having a book like this can make it easier for the father to read, since he doesn’t feel left out, and it can be helpful for the mother to know what her partner might be going through. The dad perspective aside, it’s a good general reference book.

This is just a start – if you have parenting favorites you’d like me to read, or if you’d like me to preview something for you, I’m taking suggestions for the next round now!

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Chocolate Lava Cake

Posted on September 7, 2004 by Katy K.

A last “normal person” book before I embark on a slew of parenting titles… a book quite similar to that naughty little chocolate cake with the melted center that I had at the restaurant with my mother-in-law on Sunday.

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks This one came out as a movie this summer, though I only know this because we have a small poster hanging in the library. Nicholas Sparks is well known for writing feel-good novels, and this is indeed one. The story centers around Noah Calhoun and Allie Nelson. They fell in love as teenagers over the summer, but split up over objections from Allie’s upper-class family. Fourteen years later, Allie is engaged to a suitable man from her own class – will she stay with him, or go back to her first love, still waiting for her? And, in the frame story (OK, this answers the last question), 50 years later, Allie has Alzheimer’s, and Noah is reading her the story of their relationship. Will she remember him? It’s not long or deep, and if you try to talk about it too much, you might start recognizing brand names on the plot devices. But, if you just want a book to make you feel warm and gushy inside, this is a great one to go with. I listened to it on CD, and the slightly gravelly voice of the narrator was just perfect for it. It’s the same narrator who did American Gods, which did throw me for a bit, as Noah and Shadow are quite different characters. But still, highly enjoyable.

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The World Is Still out There

Posted on August 31, 2004 by Katy K.

Look! I can read fiction and other books not related to babies!

No Touch Monkey: And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late by Ayun Halliday My father gave me this book to read, probably because I spent some time traveling around Europe in my younger days. Here, Halliday looks back on her days of backpacking around the world, mostly with assorted boyfriends. Halliday was a much more hard-core backpacker than I – where I stuck to Europe, and generally took money with me, Halliday describes travels through Africa and southeast Asia as well as Europe, sometimes with no money for food or shelter. Halliday gets down and dirty with the stories, from her boyfriend being chased from the public restroom in Munich, to intestinal difficulties in India and dislocating her knee in Sumatra. Yep, it’s amusing. Yep, I’m glad not to be there.

Chasing Vermeer by Blue Balliett I know, it’s a children’s book again, but it’s a current best-seller, and deserving of it. Petra and Calder are sixth-graders at an alternative school in Chicago. They find themselves mixed up in the theft of a Vermeer painting that should have been part of an exhibit in the Chicago art museum. Everything around them seems to connect to the theft, but what is coincidence and what is clue? Can they find the painting before the thief destroys it? This is a highly enjoyable book, both thoughtful and fast-paced.

Firethorn by Sarah Micklem And again, I have difficulty resisting the rare fantasy book that gets starred reviews in multiple publishing magazines. But this is not your typical sparkly magic, epic fantasy. Micklem has a finely realized world with a researched, authentic medieval feel, but a developed religion based around twelve gods. The world is starkly divided between the nobles of the Blood and the commoners, or mudfolk. Firethorn, trained as an herbalist, has lost her place in the household she grew up in with the death of her mistress. After a year alone in the forest, she feels herself touched by the gods – but what does that mean, and what do they want from her? Even when she thinks she knows, things do not turn out as she expects. She decides that the god Ardor has bound her to follow a young knight to war, but this is fraught with difficulty. Not only do his companions not believe he can have real feelings for his “sheath”, but the divide between the Blood and mudfolk is so strong that Galen and Firethorn themselves cannot work around it. Firethorn is so out of place in this world that the book made for disturbing, yet gripping, reading. Alas, it’s only the first of three, and so does not resolve at all neatly.

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Minimalism – or not

Posted on August 22, 2004 by Katy K.

Panic time – I’m in my third trimester, and we have purchased not one major item for baby, nor have we registered for such. What does he really need? Which brands to go with? What do we need to know before picking up that scanner gun at Babies ‘R Us? The panic hit when we got back from vacation, and I pumped a thousand pages or so in two weeks. Here’s my run-down on the books:

Baby Stuff by Ari Lipper With the aged copyright date of 2001, I really only checked this one out because the more recent books were already checked out and I needed to read something right then. In fact, this turned out to be a fantastic book. Lipper is both a parent and the owner of a private baby store, so he has lots of experience with what works and what doesn’t, and what things get brought in for repairs. Each item has a little shaded box that lists how much you’ll need it, when you’ll need it, whether it’s a good thing to borrow or not, and important features. Then, there’s a nice little discussion of things to consider when deciding on the item. For bottles and nipples, for example, he says that whatever the brands claim, your baby will have definite opinions on this subject, and you’re better off buying a small stock in several different brands to find out. Specific brand and model advice is pretty minimal, limited mostly to brands that are so bad or so good that they need to be mentioned by name. His advice is straightforward, concise, and funny at the same time, and the whole book was quick to read. One caveat: he is a city dweller, and his advice is slightly skewed in this direction. OK, maybe if I lived in NYC, I’d consider an infant car seat an optional purchase, too. But really, for quick, reality-based advice, this book is great.

Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields I was already familiar with the authors from reading their Bridal Bargains book, and this one offers much the same kind information-packed advice. The focus is on getting the best for less, with discussions on features, safety, and places to buy followed by reviews of brands and specific recommendations, based on their own experience and reader feedback. At 700+ pages, it’s easy to get a little bogged down, though their layout makes things as easy as possible, and they also have a good sense of humor. I feel obliged to give them kudos for giving decently fair coverage to cloth diapers and where to buy them, a topic avoided in most other books. What more to say? This is the most comprehensive book I’ve seen on the subject, and since it’s updated every two years, the information is current.

Best Baby Products by Sandra Gordon and Consumer Reports Ah, Consumer Reports! I was looking forward to this book for answers to everything – and wow, I was really disappointed. The good thing about Consumer Reports is that they do extensive, hard-core safety testing on baby products, which other books can’t duplicate. The bad thing about Consumer Reports is that they aren’t focused on baby products, and they won’t give any opinions on things they haven’t tested. So, while the advice on the few products they’ve tested is OK, most of the items list what features are available (not how useful they are), and then run down a list of brands and prices, with no advice at all. Some of the limited advice they gave seemed downright suspect to me – dress your baby in polyester because it’s cheaper and easier to care for than cotton? Also, ratings focused fairly exclusively on safety, with less discussion of practicality, reliability and other factors. They do cover cars, cameras and camcorders, which other baby books don’t. But you could get that advice in their regular buying guides, too, and just look at Baby Bargains, which will tell you when their ratings differ from Consumer Reports and why.

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Hide and Seek

Posted on August 11, 2004 by Katy K.

Another cross-section of (mostly) vacation reading – one for the car, one from a friend, and a couple to read to your favorite child. And, ok, every one involving children or childbirth. I’m working on a different kind of book, promise!

Birthing from Within by Pam England A little older than most of the childbirth books I’ve been reading, but still well worth it. This book is about childbirth, specifically from the mother’s point of view, with some attention to the partner. She’s not so much interested in natural vs. assisted birth, as in the parents getting connected with their feelings and fears about childbirth and impending parenthood. You can’t control what will happen, she seems to say, and your experience will not be the medical event your doctor will tell you about. Prepare for what you can, address your fears – and there’s also a lot on natural pain relief techniques. Birth is an important rite of passage, and learning only about the three stages of labor won’t prepare you for this side of things.

Everything on a Waffle by Polly Horvath Trust Polly Horvath to write a funny and yet touching book about a seemingly depressing subject. Primrose lives in a small fishing village in British Columbia with her parents, until they are lost at sea. Everyone else is convinced that they are dead, but Primrose, narrating, is so convinced that they will come back that the book is saved from being the mournful reflections of a new orphan. Instead, she explores life inside the village as she is passed around from one person to the next. From the old maid she was first left with, to her happy-go-lucky uncle, the stuck-up school counselor and the owner of the town’s one restaurant, the characters are full of vivid and amusing life. I especially enjoyed listening to the young, scrappy-sounding voice of the narrator on the audio version.

Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It by Andrea Buchanan Thanks to garrity for loaning me this one. So, you’re about to become a mother for the first time, talking to mothers you know, reading books on the subject, hanging out with the children of friends. Are you prepared? No, says Buchanan. Motherland is an entirely different country, and you’re reading guidebooks and talking to natives. The shock of adjusting to new parenthood has stages very similar to culture shock, from euphoria to hatred of the new culture to final adjustment. Buchanan shares her own experiences in a series of essays grouped around each of these stages. More important than the stages, though, is her firm conviction that not every part of being a mother is fun. Acknowledging this often taboo fact does not mean that you don’t love your child or are a bad parent. Life is always complex, and we shouldn’t expect parenting to be different. Though the premise may sound academic, the book isn’t, with Buchanan’s essays sharing the nitty-gritty tears, laughter, and exhaustion of the new mother.

Not One Damsel in Distress: World Folktales for Strong Girls by Jane Yolen, illustrated by Susan Guevara
Fairy Tales by Berlie Doherty, illustrated by Jane Ray
These are two lovely collections of fairy tales that I recently shared with the 5-year-old Wild Woman, and which we both greatly enjoyed. Not One Damsel in Distress, as the title indicates, features only stories with strong heroines – not modern-day fantasies, but real, strong folk heroes who have made it through the centuries. I keep a sharp eye out for collections of this nature, and this is one of the best. It’s a few stories common to collections of this nature (though mostly not so well known otherwise), and many that even I had never seen before – crack to the fairy tale collector. More important to the Wild Woman, Yolen is an amazing storyteller, able to tell a compelling story in a multitude of different styles. The illustrations didn’t do much for me, but WW didn’t seem to mind, and you can’t have everything.

The Doherty collection is mostly fairy tale standards – “Snow White”, “Rapunzel” – with a few less common stories like the Russian tale “The Firebird” thrown in. It’s not the addiction of new stories that Yolen had for me, but these are stories that every child should grow up with. Doherty is an award-winning British author and tells the stories lyrically, attentive to their original sources. However, what really makes this book shine are the illustrations. Every page is illustrated in full color with gold accents, with each tale having its own frame. The characters, while much more simply dressed than typical in fairy tales, look beautiful. They are multiethnic without making a big deal about it – just people of fairly indeterminate race but different skin tones interacting in a magical fairy tale world. If you know a child who needs a basic collection of fairy tales to love, this would be my top pick.

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Catching up

Posted on July 21, 2004 by Katy K.

Way behind, but here we go….

Montmorency: Thief, Liar, Gentleman? by Eleanor Updale Well, you know, when someone puts a book in my hand and says, “Read this – you’ll like it”, I usually do read it. This one the teen librarian put into my hands. It’s a fine Victorian adventure of a swashbuckling type, even though there are no actual duels involved. Montmorency was an ordinary thief in Victorian England, when a fall injured him badly enough to make him a curiosity to an upper-class doctor – could he possibly be fixed? As he is escorted from prison to the homes and lecture halls of the upper class by the doctor, he hatches a plan to make a better life for himself using his new knowledge of the ways of the aristocracy and – most important – the brand new sewer system. At first, he plays his own servant, using a lower class persona to steal and an upper class persona to sell the goods. But soon, the line between pretence and reality blurs, and Montmorency becomes tangled in even bigger things.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud You know I have a weakness for a good fantasy, and this one got starred reviews in all the publishing magazines. The story is set in an alternate-reality modern London, where wizards run Parliament. The narrative alternates between the third-person story of Nathaniel, a young and ambitious wizard’s apprentice, and Bartimaeus, the ancient and powerful djinni he calls up to serve him. The djinni was for me the best part of the story – in the audio book, his voice sounds like a jaded and snarky Tim Curry – tired of the magicians who always think they know best, proud of his own exploits. But the rest of the story was pretty disappointing for me. Yes, it was exciting and fast-paced, but the plot was motivated by nothing but fairly routine revenge, lots of politics, and little to no character growth. The only women in the story were weak characters who, though loved by our hero, did nothing in the end but inspire him to more revenge by their failure to survive. There was a very interesting subplot about a group of commoners trying to overthrow the repressive wizard government, but so far our characters are firmly aligned with the wizards. I can hope for more from the two sequels currently planned. In the meantime – it’s great stuff for adolescent boys who want fast-rolling adventure without too much subtlety.

No Ordinary Matter by Jenny McPhee The quote which begins this book says something along the lines of, “Truth is stranger than fiction only because we can’t make things up as strange as the truth.” The book then launches into a highly improbable plot that nevertheless manages to be both entertaining and thoughtful. Veronica Moore, soap-opera writer, has always felt in the shadow of older sister Lillian, a successful neurologist. Lillian has recently become pregnant, having chosen an unwitting sperm donor for a one-night stand. When the same man is hired as an actor on Veronica’s soap, she falls in love with him, but can’t tell her sister. In the meantime, the sisters have hired a detective to help them discover the secrets they think their father had when he died 25 years earlier. It only gets crazier from there.

Naming Ceremonies by Mandy Ross
Birth and Growing Up Ceremonies by World Book “How does one welcome a baby into the community?” a friend recently asked me, “Especially if you don’t want to promise to raise him exclusively in one religion?” Well, as it turns out, books on such things for adults are in short supply. Instead, I found these two books. They’re aimed at children, but have helpful and interesting information on how birth is celebrated in different cultures, with double-paged spreads featuring traditions from major religions and cultures. The World Book offering includes general coming-of-age ceremonies with the naming and birth ceremonies covered in the Ross book. The Ross book seems geared towards slightly younger children, with potentially unfamiliar terms bolded and defined in the glossary. Overall, though both are good resources with lots of information and pictures, I felt that the Ross book with its more limited focus was able to cover the topic better. It focused more on current traditions and the people that follow them, with fewer stereotypical statements such as, “Children in the middle ages were often abandoned” or “All Native American cultures lived in harmony with nature,” which seem to me neither helpful nor relevant.

Certain Women by Madeleine L’Engle This is, I admit, a 15-year-old book by a favorite author, which I was re-reading for comfort fare. L’Engle is one of my favorites for her ability to write about complex things happening to complex people, and yet have the stories be about hope, not despair. This story follows Emma Wheaton, successful actress and daughter of the wildly famous actor David Wheaton. As the story opens, they and various other family members are taking a last cruise in his small boat as he is dying. David Wheaton has seen himself much like the Biblical David, especially regarding the many wives that both of them had (there’s a handy chart in the front to keep them straight.), and dreamed of starring in the play about King David that Emma’s now-estranged husband never finished writing. Chapters take their names from the wives of both Davids, and the story alternates between the present and Emma’s past, including scenes from the play. It’s not as complicated as it sounds, and an engaging and thoughtful book.

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Summer Reading

Posted on July 9, 2004 by Katy K.

This time, one for my seemingly insatiable appetite for pregnancy and childbirth books and three normal person books.

The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger This is yet another really great pregnancy book. It’s a little light on the fetal development side, compared to many others, and also not as entertaining as my favorite, How to Have a Baby and Still Live in the Real World. It also focuses somewhat less on issues like clothing and dealing with nosy relatives, topics that are covered heavily in many other books. However, it has a great many strong points, including coverage of labor and childbirth that really shines. It covers dealing with changes in the body during pregnancy extensively, including pages of full-color photos of useful stretches and exercises. It covers care options in detail. Kitzinger is renowned for natural childbirth, but the coverage here is remarkably balanced: if you think you’ll need that epidural, she talks about the risks and benefits and when in labor it’s safest to use. She also includes the only description I’ve seen of exactly what the body does during labor, focused on what can cause pain and what type of pain it is. She also describes, with photos, positions to use during labor, and when the various positions are most useful or unhelpful. There’s a useful, if sad, section on dealing with the loss of a child, as well as a chapter on newborn care. Sprinkled throughout are birth stories, ranging from home to hospital births, as well as helpful photos of labor and families with their new babies. This books complements Ina May’s Guide very well, providing practical information to go with Ina May’s inspirational stories. It’s also a good basic pregnancy book, with information slanted more towards childbirth and preparing for it.

Playing James by Sarah Mason This book is British chick lit in top form – fluffy, sweet, and I even liked the character better than the Shopaholic’s Becky Bloomwood. Holly Colshannon is a journalist covering pet funerals for a small-town paper, when she gets a dubious promotion covering the crime beat. Her assignment: to shadow hunky detective James as he covers his beat. Only he hates journalists, and her klutziness keeps landing her in the hospital. And though he is really good-looking, Holly already has the perfect boyfriend, and James is due to be married in two weeks. This playful romp is a delightful summer read.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss Yes, this is on the best-seller list. And yes, it’s delightful. Truss is a punctuation stickler on the rampage, documenting with dry British humor the ever-increasing misuse of punctuation. If, like me, you wince at signs that say “X-MAS TREE’S FOR SALE” (what do the trees own? What letter was left out?), this book will strike a heart-felt chord. If, like the majority of people in the world, you are unsure of when to use “it’s” or “its”, this book’s clear and hilarious examples will soon clear up the matter for you. Or, you know, if you just enjoy laughing, you might like this one, too. Sticklers unite! Punctuation matters!

Night Swimming by Robin Schwartz Charlotte Clapp is stuck in a dead-end life: her mother has died, her best friend married Charlotte’s boyfriend and now seems to hate her, and she’s working a lowly bank job in a town with no place to go. She numbs herself with food, 100 pounds overweight. Then, her doctor tells her that she has cancer and only a year to live. This jolts her awake, and she promptly steals two million from the bank and heads out west to fulfill her fantasies before she dies. Of course, it’s a mistake, which luckily we find out at the beginning, though Charlotte doesn’t. In Hollywood, she buys a luxury apartment, and spends her days befriending an elderly neighbor and drooling over the handsome pool boy. Nights she spends swimming and looking at the stars, allowing for both deep inner reflection and lots of weight loss. Meanwhile, the hometown police are on her trail – will she lose everything she’s found? The beginning and end are a little improbable, and salvation through weight loss is a bit problematic for my inner feminist. (Be beautiful on the outside, and you will find enlightenment and true happiness!) In spite of these flaws, I found myself turning pages compulsively, rooting for this likeable character as she struggles to make her dreams come true.

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Children and Childbirth (again)

Posted on June 23, 2004 by Katy K.

Other people suggested these books to me, so here is another fairly random assortment. I ‘m working on reading the ocassional book unrelated to pregnancy or childbirth, but these books (for obvious reasons) will probably continue to feature highly here for the next while. Just so you know.

The Unseen by Zylpha Keatley Snyder This is the latest book by an author whom I loved as a child (by which you might surmise that it is a children’s book), and which my mother asked my opinion of. This naturally required that I read it. Twelve-year-old Xandra is running through the forest one afternoon, as a temporary escape from her too-perfect, too-rich family, when she finds a white bird injured by hunters. She takes it home and patches it up – but when she returns in the morning, it’s gone from its cage, leaving only a feather behind. Wearing the feather around her neck, she soon finds herself talking to the social outcast at school – a scholarship girl – who tells her the feather has the power to let her see the Unseen, the things that are always there but usually can’t be seen. It does. The things that Xandra sees are both beautiful and terrifying – and in trying to understand them, she learns a lot about friendship, family and herself. I admit, I wasn’t as stirred as I was by the ones I read as a child – but that may be because I’m not a child anymore. Still, I think, a quite solid choice if one were looking for a realistic-with-a-touch-of-magic book for, say, a ten-year-old.

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin This is one that Trying to Be Zen said she bought, but I was tired of waiting for a review from her, and so checked it out myself. Especially after reading the last childbirth book, it seemed time for one primarily about natural childbirth. Ina May Gaskin (though I admit I hadn’t heard of her before) is one of country’s leading midwives, and wrote a book called Spiritual Midwifery which was very popular in the 70s and which is still in print. This book, though, just came in 2003, and is aimed at everywoman, rather than midwives. The goal is to convince women that, contrary to common TV-drama fueled belief, the female body is designed to give birth, and does it very well. The first third of the book is birth stories, mostly from her practice on The Farm, as women describe their labors. All the births are natural, with a few exceptions of women who describe their first standard hospital birth and then a second natural birth. Not all the births are what might normally be described as easy or low-risk, but all the women are happy and satisfied with their experiences, and medical interventions are rare and minimal. Following that are chapters that talk about how the body functions during labor, and attitudes towards labor and childbirth in various traditional and modern cultures. Ina May feels that birth doesn’t have to be painful, certainly not as painful as modern American women are taught that it is. She offers practical and inspirational advice on creating a beautiful birth experience anywhere. While she is obviously focused on natural childbirth, she also has advice that would be helpful to any expectant mother. There’s information on current medical techniques, and some angry words for the U.S.’s rising maternal mortality rate and failure to track or attempt to reduce it. Most helpful to me was the confidence throughout, demonstrated in the individual stories as well as the factual information and statistics: women’s bodies were made to give birth without it being a horrific experience. It may sound small, but not feeling afraid of labor feels big. I wouldn’t call it the only book on natural childbirth you’d ever need, if that’s what you want, but I would definitely highly recommend it. And to quote Ina May’s closing words, “Your body is not a lemon.”

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Not for Men

Posted on June 17, 2004 by Katy K.

Well, OK, men can read this – and probably some men should read this book. But as this is a book specifically about childbirth, most men will probably wish to avoid it.

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer For the most part, I consider pregnancy and childbirth books to be interchangeable. Flip through a few, find one or two that work for you, and you’ll be set – the basic information is the same. This is the first book on the topic that I think should be required reading for everyone planning to have a baby. Most other books take one of two approaches – either you’re going to have a standard hospital birth, in which case there’s an section that begs to skipped that briefly goes over what they’ll do to you in the hospital. Or, they assume that you want a Natural Childbirth, in which case they describe how childbirth will help you get in touch with your Inner Woman, assuming that you don’t want any of those icky things they do in hospitals. (yes, I’m exaggerating somewhat on both counts.) But, what benefit do you or your baby get out of either method? Both approaches seem to start assuming that you know what you want – but what are you supposed to base that on? The Thinking Woman’s Guide is the only book I’ve seen that talks about exactly what a traditional hospital birth offers, technique by technique. It discusses each method, describes it, and lists the risks and benefits, as well as strategies to avoid needing any risky interventions. What’s particularly refreshing is that the information given is solidly based on medical studies. An appendix in the back summarizes each of the studies used, while all the studies are listed in the bibliography, should you wish to be look them up.

Unfortunately, the news is, for the most part, grim. It turns out that many of the things that are considered standard during delivery were adopted before any studies were done. Now that studies are being done, doctors believe that the methods are effective because they’ve always been using them and are reluctant to discontinue them, even when the studies show differently. Many of these things interfere with labor, making it slower or more difficult and causing the doctors to use even more techniques and interventions, which cause yet more problems. A greatly simplified example: Continuous fetal monitoring will often require you to lie on your back, which slows down labor. You’ll then be given a drug to speed up labor, which causes more painful contractions than those from natural hormones. At this point, you may well request an epidural, and you’ll be given an IV in addition to the epidural. The IV can cause fluid overload, leading to excess fluid in the baby’s lungs and blood chemistry imbalance. The epidural causes a fever over time and can cause your blood pressure to drop, both of which are considered dangerous for the baby. It will also slow down your labor even more, so you’re likely to be given more drugs to speed up the labor, or you may be given an emergency c-section. Your baby is also more likely to be given more and more intrusive exams upon birth. Yikes! Nothing I’d heard before, in books or from friends or doctors, had ever suggested that a little epidural could be anything but helpful. And even though it’s a little sad to let the dream of pain-free labor without side effects go, I think that all women deserve to know what the potential risks of any medical procedure are beforehand.

On the bright side, the happiest thing I learned from this book is that there is no medical reason to go without food or water during labor. Woohoo! It had never made very much sense to me that one should be expected to go through the hardest work of one’s life, potentially for a day or two, with nothing but ice chips. The evidence is in: food and water are just as helpful during labor as during any other athletic activity.

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